wuuv, twoo wuuv.

As humans we intrinsically shy away from loving someone fully.
Everything we've ever been taught about self protection tells us not to give away that much of ourselves.
There are so many reasons not to. There are so many scenarios that could go wrong.
But, that's why it's called risk.

some thoughts.

i've been thinking about this a lot lately:

things are good.

despite what it took me to get here, things are good.

it did take a lot to get here.

drama, bad choices, and loss.

that's the strangest part.

the last thing any of us wanted.

and yet it brought us together in a way we never could have imagined.

i am thankful for that.

i am thankful for many things.

like change.

and finally being okay with being truly happy.

and accepting fright.

and the will to cross lines you couldn't even see.

there are certain thoughts i stray from for they tend to tie my stomach into knots.

such as the ones that truly make you think.

or evoke in you the purest emotions.

even though these are the ones i like best.

i come to realize things in odd ways.

i understand and accept them as fact but do not yet know or feel them as incontestable truth.

these are things i've come to realize lately:

i am happy; truly, finally, and completely.

it is not the end of the world; we keep going.

i do not regret things; at one point it was exactly what i wanted.

tangerines are forever my favorite fruit.

the single proactive thing i can do in this world is to make people feel better.

i have serious doubts i'd be where i am without it.

and, in all honesty, i like where i am.

it's a good place to be, as i said.

mostly: i'm not glad it happened. i'm glad for the way it changed me.

college 2.0

copied from another one when i couldn't find this.

Santa Fe is 1,231 miles away. 

from Claremont, CA it's a 11.5 hour drive. 

it's a $468 round trip from LAX to ABQ. from BHM to ABQ it's $758. 

how the hell am i gonna make that work? 

we won't have fall break next year.

so that's thanksgiving and christmas he'll come home. but i'll probably be gone both of those. then i've got spring break. 

that's like...3 weeks out of 9 months we'll be within 100 miles of each other.

and we can't even handle 4 days.

good god.