i didn't wait for any storms to pass...

i danced in the rain.

that is my remarkable moment.

yes, it's one am.

DEAL.

also, i have GOT to get me some sleep. up in 5 hours. :(

ory2

hello, world.

or, small slice of world that reads this.

so....today's moment...wasn't really a moment.

more like a ton of moments all strung together.

mostly, people make me happy.

and the happiness that they invoke in me is remarkable in the face of...not happy things.

my...strength and the support of those around me.

that's what was remarkable today.

<3

ORY1

first of many one remarkable year posts.

yes, i know i'm four days late. DEAL.

i don't know if i'll always get to do it. but i'll try. and i'll try hard.

mmkay. most remarkable thing that happened today : people listened.

and they listened well.

and they didn't need to say anything.

no mouths necessary, just eareyes.

C & S, thank you. from the deepest depths of my heart, thank you.

and you may be needed again.

we'll see how things go the next few...well, as long as this lasts.

you can find one remarkable year at:

youtube.com/user/oneremarkableyear

oneremarkableyear@gmail.com

here's to hoping yours (and mine) are as remarkable as possible.

woulda killed me 6 months ago. absolutely murdered me.

Hold me down, don’t ever let me go
I’m a photograph, of someone who used to care
I’m a dropout, think about it, Baby that ain’t cool
You knew me then
and I’m headed straight back there
well I should've loved you more, and I shoulda been more ready
But I’m learning as I go, don’t you know there are days when it hurts so bad
everybody changes with a chance, and I came around,

sleepless nights, drowning at the bar
when it comes to mind
blood rushes to my head
like a sad song all along I’m the one who’s scared
the won who lost and a fool to pay the cost
I shoulda done my best and I shoulda loved you steady
but im learning as I go, don’t you know there are days when it hurts so bad
everybody changes with a chance,
yeah but I’m learning as I go, don’t you know there are days when it hurts so bad
everybody changes with a chance, and I came around,

I came around

I shoulda loved you more and I should've been more ready
Well I should of changed before it really was too late
Oh but baby that’s before everything just all fell down
but I’m learning as I go, don’t you know there are days when it hurts so bad
everybody changes with a chance,
yeah I’m learning as I go, don’t you know there are days when it hurts so bad
everybody changes with a chance, with a chance
and I’m learning as I go, don’t you know there are days when it hurts so bad
everybody changes with a chance, with a chance
and I’m learning as I go, don’t you know there are days when it hurts so bad
everybody changes with a chance, I came around

I came around

are you inuit?

i was just told quite possibly the nicest thing anyone could say to me.
ever.

"you should've been born in alaska or native american.
that way you could've been one of those healers. you're good at it.
you've healed wounds i didn't even know i had."

now, if i'm not mistaken, that's pretty damn amazing.
if you've read the post before this, you know what i want to do.
but, that's the main purpose behind what i want to do.
i want to heal the wounds you can't see.
that's it.
that's the only way, i believe, i can leave this place a little bit better than when i left it.

if you are the wonderful person who said this to me, THANK YOU.
i'm not sure if you are aware of how much of an impact that had on me. so thanks. and i love you.

seriously heartgasm worthy. :D

caring without so many atrocities.

college psychologist.

college counselor.

counseling service.

whatever you want to call it.

it's not a psychiatrist. i have serious issues with prescribing medication to reverse a "problem".

i don't even really think there are problems. at least, not in that sense. the kids i want to deal with are those who have gotten in over their heads or something has happened and aren't sure how to handle it.

i could easily get kids[why am i calling them kids?] people who've been through serious things i can't handle before, but they've been through it, as in...not exactly past it, but not in need of services i can't provide.

the entire reason i can't do full on therapy is that i cannot handle that.

it is inborn that i honestly care about people. sometimes this has downsides. however, i don't think i would want to do it at all if i didn't care.

i care, therefore i am emotionally invested.

if i'm dealing with the problems of these people, they will pretty much become my problems. that's just the way i am. can't help it.

i cannot do that.

i will literally go insane and need a therapist of my own if i see the glass half empty with a hole in the bottom(i <3>

if i have a person who needs plain out therapy, they are in the wrong place.

i talk to the girl who's behind on exams because her father is in the hospital.

i don't think you come in, we talk about your issues, and i fill out a little form to give you drugs to "fix" you.

admittedly, there are situations when prescriptions are necessary. 

i believe in you come in, we talk about your issues and we keep talking about it. we talk through and decipher....why.

in my mind, it's a much more satisfactory way of changing someone's perspective.

i don't want to tell you what's wrong with you.

there isn't anything wrong with you or your personality.

there is no right and wrong when it comes to personality. there's some weird and some off but there isn't any wrong. unless, i suppose, you're posing a danger to people.

you tell me what has you down, stressed out, whatever.

even things like ADD, some people see that as a problem that needs to be corrected.

i see that as a part of who you are, which may or may not cause you trouble. if you need medication to pass classes, that's fine, but you shouldn't be made to think there is anything intrinsically wrong with you.

i talk to the kid who has panic attacks in the middle of class.

mostly i hope to show you that you're okay. nothing is wrong. this too, shall pass.

which, sometimes, i try to do already.

wuuv, twoo wuuv.

As humans we intrinsically shy away from loving someone fully.
Everything we've ever been taught about self protection tells us not to give away that much of ourselves.
There are so many reasons not to. There are so many scenarios that could go wrong.
But, that's why it's called risk.